For the first time in 20 years, a “ring of fire” eclipse will be visible in the U.S. And now we have that Johnny Cash song stuck in our heads. Which is cool.
7.5 million kids miss a month of school every year. Teachers are apparently unaware of the problem, thanks to that one wisenheimer who keeps saying “Present!” in different voices when other kids’ names are called.
Coffee drinkers live longer. But not by a latte.
Thought bad behavior in professional sports was limited to the NFL and the NBA? Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome baseball!
Do you live in a “well read” city? Reading this right now doesn’t count. It counts with us; it counts a lot. But not for the survey.
You can lead a horse to water. Then, you need a really good plan to get him out of the water.
Those shoes that were supposed to help your butt, probably didn’t help your butt. But to be fair, neither did those donuts.
There are 4,700 potentially dangerous asteroids coming to earth, according to NASA. Looks like it’s time to call in this guy.
A baby was delivered at a Florida gas station. The mother and child are doing well and are currently recuperating in aisle 3, next to the corn nuts.
Facebook is selling more shares to pay the taxes on the money it makes from… selling shares? Probably? We’re not “friends” with any economics majors, are we?
Your sunscreen might be unsafe. For one thing, you could slip right out of the deck chair.
John Mayer called himself an idiot on Ellen, which saved Taylor Swift the trouble of writing another song.
The oldest female bodybuilder and the oldest yoga instructor are inspirational to those of us planning to become the oldest donut connoisseur one day. Thank you, ladies! You give us hope.
Katherine Heigl has added another baby to the family which we assume will cause lots of romantic comedy style misunderstandings like running through airports and notes being delivered to the wrong person and finally everything ending just fine while an upbeat pop song plays.
Pitcher Stephen Strasburg accidentally got some hot ointment in an unexpected place during last night’s game. He wouldn’t say where, but the term “low and inside” was used.
A Wisconsin man was arrested after “ninja kicking” another man in the head. What happened to the good old days of civility and throwing stars?
A bear stole a 50-pound bag of sunflower seeds. Authorities suspect the incident may be related to the 275-pound bag of trail mix they recently discovered in the woods.
If you hate needles, not looking at them can make them hurt less. Although not getting poked by them is probably your best bet.
President Obama apparently knows which Kardashian is which. So, if that’s what you base your vote on, well…sorry…lost our train of thought in a shudder of fear for our country’s future.
Coyotes are invading San Francisco. The really bad part is that where coyotes go, yodeling country singers usually follow.
The new baby name list is out and Jacob and Sophia are at the top. In your chubby faces, Mason and Isabella!
Kiawah Island was named America’s happiest seaside town. But don’t worry, the unhappiest seaside town will be fine, because they’re still, well, a seaside town.
Here’s a list of America’s nine youngest CEOs, just in case you were feeling good about what you’ve accomplished in your life so far.
A man who robbed an internet café was caught because he forgot to log out of Facebook before the robbery. His “Totally about to rob a café LOL” status was also a tip-off.
UPDATE: That New Jersey town from yesterday’s Newsdroppings did not actually ban texting while walking. Residents breathed a collective sigh of relief as they got up and stretched their legs for the first time in days.
Legally, killer whales have to have companions. You can end up standing around awkwardly by yourself at this summer’s family reunion and the government won’t care, but killer whales, oh, the killer whales can’t be alone.
A teenage boy’s excessive body spray set off an alarm. He’s telling his teenage boy buddies that it’s because he’s “smokin’ hot.” They’re not buying it.
When you see “Alice Cooper” in the credits for a movie, you’re probably going to sit there wondering when Alice Cooper shows up. Let me put your curious mind at ease, it’s toward the end, and he does a couple of songs. I don’t feel like this is a spoiler, because you’re going to see it, like I just said, in the credits.
He is not looking absolutely great. Not 100% great. To be fair, he’s almost retirement age, which brings some questions to mind. He’s already a golfer who lives in Arizona, which is basically pre-retiring. Maybe this was all just kind of a pain, being in a movie. He still tours and that probably goes just like he wants, but movies? Not his forte, most likely. You just didn’t get the feeling that he sat in his make-up chair getting his black tears or possibly blood looking stuff on his face while Johnny sat next to him getting his dead a long time look going and they like joked around and the make-up people had to start over.
But if you let wondering why AC didn’t seem to be all that into it get into your head, that’s going to hurt the movie for you. So don’t do that, OK? Go into it knowing that Alice Cooper is going to show up, in full regalia, and he’s going to be… fine. But only fine. Let the rest of the movie happen to you, so to speak, as if Alice isn’t going to show up at all. Then maybe glob on a ton of eyeliner and go play golf.
The Avengers broke the $1 billion barrier, which is not that surprising given a giant guy known for breaking stuff is on their team.
The CEO of Yahoo lost his job because he faked part of his resume. Bet we know what word he’s not saying.
NBC says they’re planning 10 sit-coms in their fall TV line-up. Wow. It’s a great time to be an actress who specializes in playing the goofy best friend.
A New Jersey town has banned texting while walking. Residents responded with disappointment, saying they enjoy walking and really hate to have to give it up.
A man set a world record by fist-pumping for 17 hours straight. He celebrated his achievement by, well, you know.
What face would you make if Jessica Biel were kissing you? Probably this one.
A skier fell 160 feet in what we’re now considering the best reason ever not to do things.
An 8-year-old made a basket from half court. Fortunately, it’s only 10 years till he’ll be old enough for the NBA, and the playoffs will still be going on.
This sculpture at the Olympic Village is being described as “the Godzilla of public art”, so look out for a so-so remake of it 50 years from now.
A Florida teacher might be fired for putting a “cone of shame” on her students. On the upside, it looks really good on her.
