The Bourbon Legends

They’re like urban legends…only drunker.

 

ASSQUATCH

assquatch bourbon legend

Assquatch is an elusive beast that leaves distinctive, unnaturally large butt impressions on logs and rocks throughout the Northwestern United States.

 

CHALUPACABRA

chalupacabra bourbon legends

Wherever there’s a whiff of salsa in the air, there’s the possibility that Chalupacabra is near, ready to leap upon the plates of unsuspecting diners and suck the cheese out of their entrees.

 

THE WOMAN IN WHITE JORTS

woman in white jorts bourbon legends

One night, a man drove down a lonely road and picked up a hitchhiking woman who was wearing white jorts and just would not shut up about how her cousin Theresa thinks she’s all hot, but could stand to lose twenty pounds.

 

BLOODY LARRY

bloody larry bourbon legends

Legend has it that if you stand in front of your bathroom mirror at midnight and say “Bloody Larry” five times, you’ll see a man who is not good at all with power tools.

 

MOTH DAN

moth dan bourbon legends

Moth Dan is a mythological creature that is said to appear to people right before something just barely interesting happens – like the theft of a birdbath for instance.

 

DRUNK APE

drunk ape bourbon legends

For over a century people claimed to have seen this large, hairy creature stagger through alleys, mumbling incoherently and giving off visible fumes.

 

CREATURE FROM THE DARK BATHROOM

creature from the dark bathroom bourbon legends

It’s said that this monster first emerged from the bathroom of an apartment shared by four college students. It’s not really dangerous – just very, very disgusting.

 

BLENDER MAN

blender man bourbon legends

This faceless man is best known for stealing unwanted wedding gifts, then bombarding strangers with free smoothies.

 

BIGHANDS

bighands bourbon legends

This is the distant cousin of Bigfoot who is notoriously bad at putting together jigsaw puzzles.

 

 

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Posted by Mia - Labels: Allyson C., Cartoon, Matt G., Russ E.
Card Rejects

rejected card funny but no

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Posted by Mia - Labels: Bill G., Funny But No
YOLO…ish

Zombie Cartoon Halloween Cards

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Posted by Mia - Labels: Cartoon, Russ E.
From Our Crown to Yours!

Royals

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Posted by Mia - Labels: Shelley S.
Links That Amuse Us

It’s Friday! Here are 5 videos to pass the time until the weekend.

 

MARCEL THE SHELL SINGS A SONG
By the talented and extremely hilarious, Jenny Slate.

 

DIVA STATUS
This video is best enjoyed while listening to something with lots of bass.

 

ASK A GROWN MAN WITH JOHN MULANEY
Just some genuine advice from a funny guy.

 

LET’S GET PHYSICS Y’ALL
Funny or Die + Megan Amram + Science = this glorious masterpiece.
(WOW! Math AND Science all in one sentence!)

GEORGE BRETT POOPED HIS PANTS
In honor of the Royals going to the World Series, please enjoy this video.
(Warning: Dirty language. Pun intended.)

 

 

 

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Posted by Mia - Labels: Links That Amuse Us, Uncategorized
9 Cards You Shouldn’t Give Your Boss for Boss’s Day

Still need a card for Boss’s Day? May we suggest none of these?

1.

worst boss's day cards

 

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worst boss's day cards

 

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worst boss's day cards

 

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worst boss's day cards

 

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worst boss's day cards

 

6.

worst boss's day cards

 

7.

worst boss's day cards

 

8.

eventually

 

9.

worst boss's day cards

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Posted by Mia - Labels: Funny But No
Boss’s Day

10.16.14_boss

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Posted by Mia - Labels: In Stores Now
Delicious Carbs are Delicious

GORDON carbohydrates

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Posted by Mia - Labels: Brian G., Cartoon, Russ E.
OMG!

10.14.14_ISN gourd

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Posted by Mia - Labels: Cartoon, Eric B., Russ E.
Columbus Day

10.13.14_columbus day

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Posted by Mia - Labels: Keion J.