Funny but no – Mom edition
Only about 20% of what gets turned in gets accepted and becomes a Shoebox card. Here, we feature the other 80%. Being a mom has made me so much more responsible... I NEVER forget my birth control now. ___________________ Pioneer moms had it much harder than we do. They lived in brutal conditions with no appliances, and their men smelled terrible. I'm basing this on one weekend of camping, but I'm certain it's right. ___________________ Babies are little bits of heaven... ... if you don't sleep in heaven. ___________________ Experts say we should treat our kids with dignity and respect. Which can be hard to do with someone who's been known to poop in the bathtub. ___________________ Motherhood often requires kissing a few boo-boos... ... and, every now and then, having to divorce one of them.
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Posted by Stephen - Labels: Funny But No
Funny but no
Only about 20% of what gets turned in gets accepted and becomes a Shoebox card. Here, we feature the other 80%. Wishing you a happy Mother’s Day doesn’t seem like enough for all the hard work, the sacrifices, the countless, thankless little jobs, not to mention the 26 hours in labor… Well, this card certainly has taken an ugly turn. ____________________ Mistaken Hollywood Quote #14: “Nobody puts Baby out with the bathwater.” Dance as dirty as you want today. ____________________ Since when did my bank get all emotional about its relationship with me? I’ll always be there for you, through good times and bad, like a bank. ____________________ Nothing tests one’s character like coming upon a steamroller with keys in the ignition. May your birthday be filled with unexpected opportunities.
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Posted by Stephen - Labels: Funny But No
funny but no
Only about 20% of what gets turned in gets accepted and becomes a Shoebox card. Here, we feature the other 80%. Research studies indicate that men think about sex every two sex. Thinking of you today… mostly. _________________ It'd be pretty cool to be important enough to have to sometimes go "off the record." Happy birthday, and you can totally quote me on that. _________________ Keep in touch. Not literally, though. In fact, let’s drop the touching part altogether and just keep in talk. _________________ No one wants to disappoint their mother. That’s why I lie so much. It’s really kind of your fault, Mom. _________________ When I think of you, I experience a certain longing. Or is it, “lengthening?” Whatever it is, whoo, boy! Do I experience it! _________________
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Posted by Stephen - Labels: Funny But No
funny but no
Only about 20% of what gets turned in gets accepted and becomes a Shoebox card. Here, we feature the other 80%. Turning 21? Better get busy... ...those shots ain't gonna throw themselves up! ___________ I’m afraid you won’t have time for me because of your new baby. Oh gosh, I meant it as a joke, but it’s true! ___________ You turned out to be a great mom!! Sorry to sound surprised, but I thought you were a trophy wife. ___________ It took Rasputin being poisoned, stabbed, shot four times and beaten before he finally died. I bet that dude could really party! (Have a Rasputinesque birthday!) ___________ We may never see each other again. Please know that it was fun. Oh, and your arms are kind of long for your body. ___________
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Posted by Stephen - Labels: Funny But No, Uncategorized
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__________________

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