The Bourbon Legends

They’re like urban legends…only drunker.

 

ASSQUATCH

assquatch bourbon legend

Assquatch is an elusive beast that leaves distinctive, unnaturally large butt impressions on logs and rocks throughout the Northwestern United States.

 

CHALUPACABRA

chalupacabra bourbon legends

Wherever there’s a whiff of salsa in the air, there’s the possibility that Chalupacabra is near, ready to leap upon the plates of unsuspecting diners and suck the cheese out of their entrees.

 

THE WOMAN IN WHITE JORTS

woman in white jorts bourbon legends

One night, a man drove down a lonely road and picked up a hitchhiking woman who was wearing white jorts and just would not shut up about how her cousin Theresa thinks she’s all hot, but could stand to lose twenty pounds.

 

BLOODY LARRY

bloody larry bourbon legends

Legend has it that if you stand in front of your bathroom mirror at midnight and say “Bloody Larry” five times, you’ll see a man who is not good at all with power tools.

 

MOTH DAN

moth dan bourbon legends

Moth Dan is a mythological creature that is said to appear to people right before something just barely interesting happens – like the theft of a birdbath for instance.

 

DRUNK APE

drunk ape bourbon legends

For over a century people claimed to have seen this large, hairy creature stagger through alleys, mumbling incoherently and giving off visible fumes.

 

CREATURE FROM THE DARK BATHROOM

creature from the dark bathroom bourbon legends

It’s said that this monster first emerged from the bathroom of an apartment shared by four college students. It’s not really dangerous – just very, very disgusting.

 

BLENDER MAN

blender man bourbon legends

This faceless man is best known for stealing unwanted wedding gifts, then bombarding strangers with free smoothies.

 

BIGHANDS

bighands bourbon legends

This is the distant cousin of Bigfoot who is notoriously bad at putting together jigsaw puzzles.

 

 

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Posted by Mia - Labels: Allyson C., Cartoon, Matt G., Russ E.
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THE MONA BEAN-SA
This caricature artist inserted Rowan Atkinson into historical portraits, and it’s exactly as great as you’d expect.

Screen Shot 2014-10-10 at 8.52.26 AM (2)

 

PANCAKE LANE! THE LONG AND WINDING PANCAKE! ALL YOU NEED IS PANCAKE!

 

CONTROL ALT DELETE
funny-hair-cut-bald-bus

 

TRYING TO CONCENTRATE ON A FRIDAY LIKE…

tumblr_mw85r4Kwoo1qdlh1io1_r1_400

 

LOOK AT ‘EM!

 

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YOU GO, TRAFFIC LIGHT!

 

HELLO, NEW BEST FRIEND.

 

IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE
Aliens-at-the-fair

 

CAB-HAILING HIGH FIVES
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Check out the full gif set of this man giving unsuspecting cab hailers a high five.

 

#TEAMSPRINKLING

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HOW A BEAN BECOMES A FART


via

 

PERSONAL MANTRA

tumblr_me23u8fDyN1r257blo1_500

 

THE GREATEST LOVE STORY EVER TOLD

the-kiss

 

AH, YES. THAT DEPARTMENT.

buffaloasses

 

FASHION ICON

tumblr_mfbw58oPAK1r539hzo1_500

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Just Sayin’

09.23.14_regan_dude-birds

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Tiny Mantra Tuesday

Picture 076

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GOOGLE SEARCHES: THE STORY

 

HOSTING HOUSE GUESTS 101

freak

 

#INSPIRATIONAL

tumblr_lpu53gLjYY1qff6j4o1_500

 

YOU DO YOU, HORSE GIRL

tumblr_n9dija4Q521qzi1jyo1_400

 

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Posted by Mia - Labels: Allyson C., Links That Amuse Us
Links That Amuse Us

In honor of National Cheese Pizza Day, today’s links are all pizza related.
Pizza, you are our inspiration, a true icon, a national treasure. Never change.

 

PIZZA + CATS = YES FOREVER

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via

 

PIZZA FASHION IS THE BEST FASHION

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via

 

RELATIONSHIP GOALS

image.american-apparel-juniors-fitted-tee.white.w460h520b3

via

 

THAT ONE TIME BEYONCÉ WORE A PIZZA OUTFIT
#neverforget

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JAPAN HAS AN ALL-CAT PIZZA HUT

 

 

 

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HEY, WAIT A MINUTE…

winner

 

INSULT OR ANIMAL?
Which of these are literary insults and which are names of actual animals?
Answers here, you crab-eating raccoons.

Screen shot 2014-08-29 at 11.09.38 AM (2)

 

WE WILL PAINT YOU LIKE ONE OF OUR FRENCH GIRLS, LEO.
Please enjoy these bizarre and wonderful photos of Leonardo DiCaprio from the ’90s.

m33e2vF

 

NOTIFICATION TROLLING

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VERNE TROYER IS EXCITED ABOUT SHARK WEEK

   

MAYO SELFIE

Screen shot 2014-08-15 at 8.38.09 AM (2)
This 3D printer squirts mayo in the shape of your face. THE FUTURE IS NOW, PEOPLE.    

 

YAAAS, LLAMA.


via

KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS (WITHOUT THE KARDASHIANS)


Just 4 minutes of Bruce Jenner. Enjoy.

LIGHT A FART!

Screen shot 2014-08-15 at 8.43.10 AM (2)
Stinky Candle Company
makes, as the name suggests, stinky candles.
The candles sound disgusting, and we need all of them.

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