They’re like urban legends…only drunker.
Assquatch is an elusive beast that leaves distinctive, unnaturally large butt impressions on logs and rocks throughout the Northwestern United States.
Wherever there’s a whiff of salsa in the air, there’s the possibility that Chalupacabra is near, ready to leap upon the plates of unsuspecting diners and suck the cheese out of their entrees.
THE WOMAN IN WHITE JORTS
One night, a man drove down a lonely road and picked up a hitchhiking woman who was wearing white jorts and just would not shut up about how her cousin Theresa thinks she’s all hot, but could stand to lose twenty pounds.
Legend has it that if you stand in front of your bathroom mirror at midnight and say “Bloody Larry” five times, you’ll see a man who is not good at all with power tools.
Moth Dan is a mythological creature that is said to appear to people right before something just barely interesting happens – like the theft of a birdbath for instance.
For over a century people claimed to have seen this large, hairy creature stagger through alleys, mumbling incoherently and giving off visible fumes.
CREATURE FROM THE DARK BATHROOM
It’s said that this monster first emerged from the bathroom of an apartment shared by four college students. It’s not really dangerous – just very, very disgusting.
This faceless man is best known for stealing unwanted wedding gifts, then bombarding strangers with free smoothies.
This is the distant cousin of Bigfoot who is notoriously bad at putting together jigsaw puzzles.
This tells a pretty complete story: pic.twitter.com/E6LYiaiuqK
— Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) August 27, 2014
In honor of National Cheese Pizza Day, today’s links are all pizza related.
Pizza, you are our inspiration, a true icon, a national treasure. Never change.
THAT ONE TIME BEYONCÉ WORE A PIZZA OUTFIT
WE WILL PAINT YOU LIKE ONE OF OUR FRENCH GIRLS, LEO.
Please enjoy these bizarre and wonderful photos of Leonardo DiCaprio from the ’90s.
— Verne Troyer (@VerneTroyer) August 13, 2014
This 3D printer squirts mayo in the shape of your face. THE FUTURE IS NOW, PEOPLE.
Just 4 minutes of Bruce Jenner. Enjoy.
Stinky Candle Company makes, as the name suggests, stinky candles.
The candles sound disgusting, and we need all of them.