The big mystery construction project on the West Wing of the White House is done, so whatever they were adding is officially added. We’re guessing koi pond.
It’s Day 3 of every Chicago kid’s favorite week of the school year so far.
A lake is being blamed for the stench over California, although the residents of Lake Stinksalot strongly deny responsibility.
Fish oil doesn’t prevent heart attacks, according to a new study. It will keep your fish from squeaking, though.
Southern Butterflies are moving north due to warmer weather and all that tater tot casserole they keep hearing about.
A Pennsylvania town is considering banning dogs. When asked for comment, one prominent canine replied, “Ruh-roh.”
Grab your foot. Now put it somewhere no one else can put their foot. Congratulations! You might be Cirque du Soleil material! Now, put your foot back.
Here are the details on Blake Lively’s wedding dress. Thanks again, Gossip Girl.
Andy Murray has won the men’s US Open. So the next time we’re hitting a tennis ball against the garage door, that’s who we’re pretending to be.
Some baby otters got a new home, which is for the best since our idea for office otters got turned down again.
When it comes to ring security, this guy wasn’t the best man for the job.
Does it feel like we haven’t been talking about Fashion Week enough? Well, here’s some photos anyway.
Discovery of a rare spider has halted highway construction while crews build a waterspout so that spider can… well, you know how the song goes.
Will there be an iPhone 10? We’re just wondering so we can start mentally preparing for everything in our lives to be obsolete in a few years.
As it turns out, rich people are 288 times richer than you. Unless you’re one of the rich people, in which case, want to be friends?
There’s a new Broadway musical about a silent comedian. For those who can’t get enough mime soliloquies.
A farmer creating energy from walnut shells keeps summarizing the process in really short phrases.
Lots of young people expect their retirement expenses to be covered by the inheritance from their parents. Young people are so precious.
Serena Williams won her fourth US Open trophy yesterday and then crushed it in one hand. Not really, but she totally could have.
Think you go to school in Chicago? No, you don’t.
Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively got married, supposedly for love, but also to form a super-race of incredibly attractive mediocre actors.
It turns out non-alcoholic red wine has the most health benefits, but the least of any other benefits.
The world’s first pizza museum is now open, so we’re totally interested in culture now.
If you search for Emma Watson on line there’s a one in eight chance that you’ll be tricked into downloading software or have personal information stolen. It’s like some kind of magic or something.
This Peyton Manning, kind of a weird name, but he might amount to something.
OK, both political conventions are over. So we shouldn’t be hearing any more about politics until Election Day. Whew!
Speaking of the convention, apparently there was some loose foo. Not to worry. They brought in specialists to fight it.
Savannah State, coming off of their 84 point loss to Oklahoma State, will face Florida State this weekend, where they are over 70 point underdogs. But for those two games, the school will make 860 thousand dollars, the players will see zero. Isn’t it good to know that some things, like college football, never change?
Louboutin and Yves St. Laurent have settled an ugly fight over pretty shoes. So you won’t need a lawyer to accessorize your little black dress this weekend.
Students at U-Mass were treated to 6,700 pounds of seafood stew and who knows how many, “Chowder? I hardly know her!” jokes.
Super Bowl ad slots are 90 percent sold, so gather a few million of your friends and buy one before it’s too late.
Should workers be forced to take long lunch breaks? Yes. And then they should be pelted with brownies.
Finally! McKayla is impressed.
Former President Bill Clinton electrified the crowd at last night’s convention because it’s a lot easier to love a guy who isn’t going to be hanging around for the next four years.
Researchers says “junk DNA” plays a critical role, which is exactly why we haven’t cleaned out our DNA in years
If the return of football season doesn’t mean competitive chicken wing eating then what, oh what, does it mean?
Speaking of football, the Cowboys beat the Giants. Which would also be a very cool plotline for an animated movie. We’re lookin’ at you, Pixar.
Astronauts used a toothbrush to fix the space station. Unfortunately, one astronaut couldn’t brush her teeth for the rest of the trip because all the spare toothbrushes were, you know, on Earth.
There’s a legal battle over something called “franken-saurus.” Both sides agree, however, that it has the coolest name ever.
Eva Longoria is opening a steakhouse for women. Where else can you get a good ribeye-shadow these days?
Mr. Monk was in the audience at last night’s Democratic convention, so we’re assuming some sort of mystery is afoot.
15,000 swamp rats washed up on shore in what appears to be our worst nightmare come to life.
Hey smugglers, you don’t need to hide drugs in roast chickens, they’re plenty good as it is.
Here’s a list of 11 great Secret Service code names. We were relieved to find that “Jelly Donut” is still available.
Rabbit obesity is on the rise. Which we suppose makes them the hare apparent to fat cats.
Getting fit in middle age – even if you weren’t fit before – can help you stay healthy as you age. Are you listening, rabbits?
You have to admit, Snooki’s baby is adorable. And that’s with no tan and very little muscle definition and, like, zero tattoos! Just imagine how gorgeous this kid is gonna be, yo!
If the egg doesn’t kill you, the pan it was cooked in might.
Loose moose! Loose moose! Moose on the loose! Loose! Moose!
And finally, football starts tonight, so if you don’t hear from us till February, that’s probably it. And send pizza!
And now the Democratic Convention begins, just in case you were hanging around the house thinking, “I wish I had a ton more political stuff to watch.” You were thinking that, weren’t you?
The White House released the recipes for their home-brewed beers. Critics maintain the beers are imports.
An author was caught writing positive reviews of his own books on Amazon. But we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, because he says he’s a really nice guy.
Michael Phelps celebrated his retirement from competitive swimming by hanging out at a Vegas pool that, for old time’s sake, was full of racy waitresses.
The Tooth Fairy is currently paying three bucks a tooth, and can still tell the difference between your teeth and the dog’s teeth. Apparently.
Some folks are worried about genetically modified fish. So that explains the “Based on Actual Events” recently added to the beginning of Sharktopus.
Voice mail is about to take its place next to leggings and mp3 players in the “That’s So Yesterday Hall of Fame.”
This list of the top 20 BBQ restaurants in America only includes one Kansas City place, so it’s off by about 19 places.
The Newsdroppings staff is enjoying a semi-well deserved day off. But don’t worry, they’ll be back tomorrow with more hard hitting news! Or maybe not so hard hitting, depending on how they celebrate the day off.
The NFL and the Army are teaming up to battle concussions in a really depressing all-star game.
Warren Buffet gave $600 Million to children on his birthday, so good luck topping that Kid Next Door.
Honey Boo Boo finally reigned Grand Supreme last night. And over Mitt Romney no less.
Least spoilery spoiler alert ever: the Republican Convention formally chose Mitt Romney as their candidate. So now we probably won’t hear any more about politics until the election in November.
If you’re trying to get around salmonella advisories, stick to pizza and donuts.
Simon Cowell helped rescue nine people from a sinking yacht, but not before he berated their sailing skills and disheveled appearance.
Are Kim and Kanye planning a wedding? A grateful nation of reality fans and lawyers certainly hopes so!
An 8-year-old boy is $63,000 richer thanks to some whale vomit he found on the beach. Some people know a great opportunity when they slip and fall in it and get all gross.
And in still more animal news, hundreds of turtles were found along the side of a California highway. Meanwhile, hundreds of rabbits were on the other side, sleeping and not taking the turtles seriously.
A missing woman in Iceland joined a search for herself, immediately cementing her place in the Hide and Seek Hall of Fame.
Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan spoke at the Republican convention last night, and SPOILER ALERT: He hopes Romney wins. You heard it here first.
Millions of super-massive black holes have been discovered, to which we say, “Call us when you discover millions of super-massive donut holes.”
Bill Cosby, Rihanna and Eddie Murphy are not dead. Ever notice how these not-dead stories always come in threes?
Who’s 25? Bad’s 25.
A man has been fired for using a fake dime in a laudromat in 1963. Just a reminder: Don’t do the dime if you can’t do the time.