Crocs in trouble! The shoes. Crocs the animals are not in trouble, and don’t need or appreciate offers of help.
Starbucks is testing the concept of selling beer and wine at its coffee shops. So look for some really funny mispronunciations of “Starbucks” by customers who order Ventis.
The pope fell down and broke his wrist. So there goes this week’s scheduled Guitar Hero face-off at the Vatican.
Here’s the complete list of major awards for this year’s “30 Rock Awards Special.” Also sometimes known as the Emmys.
Ailing megabanks Bank of America and Citigroup both posted profits in the billions for the most recent quarter. What’s the definition of “ailing” again?
Here is continuing in-depth coverage of day 5 of the Sotomayor confirmation hearings, in case you happen to need to slip into a coma today.
A teenage boy from California sailed alone around the globe in the world’s most successful attempt to get away from his totally lame parents.
A gay penguin couple at the San Francisco Zoo has split up because one of the males has begun mating with a female, while most other penguins in zoos throughout the Midwest just don’t understand those crazy west coast penguins at all.
“Summer vacations are a chance to discover our nation’s
rich heritage of speed traps.” – Russ
House Democrats are preparing to bring their sweeping health care reform bill to a vote. Meanwhile Senate Republicans have passed a measure to spend $100 million on shredders.
In a move that sent shock waves through nowhere, and came as a surprise to nobody, Amy Winehouse is getting divorced. Details are just what you think they are.
And in other breakup news, Jessica Simpson is “sad, mad, and confused” by her break with Tony Romo. To be fair, she was already confused. Only “sad” and “mad” are new.
The Sears Tower in Chicago is now officially Willis Tower. To which we say, “What ‘chu talkin’ ‘bout, Willis Tower? It’s the SEARS TOWER, fool!”
A credit card owner was stunned to find a $23 quadrillion charge on his monthly statement. Imported beer, dude. Those bar tabs creep up on you.
The secretary of defense will not ban smoking by front line troops in spite of a recommendation by a Pentagon study group to do so. He didn’t think it would be right for soldiers to put their butts on the line without their butts on the line.
More bad economic news: It’s harder than ever to sell a house that cost more than $700,000. The pity line forms…well, actually, there is no pity line.
30 Rock got 22 Emmy nominations! 22! From now on, we’re going to think of it as the Shoebox of sit-coms.
Today is day 4 of the confirmation hearings for Sonia Sotomayor. Journalists and others who are following the hearings are saying “it’s a no-brainer” and “she’s a shoe-in” and “it’s been 4 days and I’d like to gouge my eyes out with a spoon make it stop make it stop make it stop!”
Bands inspired by the Harry Potter books are, as you read this, redefining traditional definitions of dork. Hello, Griffendor!!!
There is a thin line between flouncing and flourishing when it comes to moving about in a robe. You enter a room, you exit a room, you are either going to flounce or flourish, and if you wonder which one you’re doing, well then, you’re a flouncer. If you’re not confident enough to never wonder, then you flounce. You just do, no shame in it. But the thing is, you better not count on the impression you make upon entering or exiting in your robe, because your flounciness betrays you. No matter how stern an expression you summon, you may as well merrily skip and sing “tra-la-la” because your robe flaps have made the decision for you.
Alan Rickman, on the other hand, comes and goes in a flourish of seething spite that beautifully embodies the Dickensian character names that J.K. Rowling employs to make people like Severus Snape come to life. The kids are alright in this Potter installment. In fact, they blush and shuffle through teen awkwardness with an emotional vulnerability you won’t find at Beth Cooper’s graduation ceremony. But the grown-ups make the movie.
Rickman truly drips malevolence, but even he’s outshined by the sheer crazy power of Helena Bonham Carter. It’s easy to imagine she was named after the volcano that blew up 230 square miles of eastern Washington. Probably a lovely woman in real life, I would still keep a butter knife in my lap all through dinner in case some sort of synapse snapped and she came across the table at me. If there’s an Oscar for crazy, she should get it. Or she might just come take it anyway, she’s that good.
This installment mainly serves to set up the two-film finale, and it has a sort of necessarily unfinished feel to it, but if you’re a fan of the endeavor so far, this will be a welcome addition.
PS A trailer for the second Twilight movie ran prior to Harry, and a theater full of young girls literally swooned at a character I’m told is a werewolf. There was an audible swoon. Never heard that in a theater before. Twilight is no Potter, but clearly they are on to something.
“We’re looking at a high of 98 degrees today, but with the heat index it’ll feel more like hell.”