Lou Dobbs has left CNN “to pursue other opportunities,”  apparently unaware that standing on street corners yelling about big government and foreigners is kind of a crowded field.

Taylor Swift lost in both the Best Male Vocalist and Best Vocal Group or Duo categories at last night’s Country Music Association Awards. News that kept Kanye West from dying even a little more inside.

The balloon boy’s parents have admitted that they were just as full of hot air as any balloon.

Mike Tyson was arrested after punching a photographer at an airport.  The victim of the attack remarked, “it’s just so hard not to laugh at that voice.”

A deer wandered into an auto repair shop where the employees made every effort to treat it well, including only a slight overcharge for a useless “undercoating.”

Chewing gum can help you lose weight. Here’s how: Tie a piece of gum to a string on the end of a stick, and chase it down the road a couple of miles.

In other health news, a study suggests that obese children are a ticking time bomb for heart attacks.  Also shower room towel snap attacks.

If you guessed “almost a dozen” as the number of commercial pilots who get caught flying drunk each year, well, you’re a very good guesser and probably an understandably nervous flyer.

End-of-the-world movies are the hottest thing in Hollywood.  Critics expect “2012” to be a box office favorite for three years, one month and nine days to come.