Over the river and through the woods, to grandmother’s house we…um, didn’t go! No way! We’re in the office, hard at work! Otherwise, how could we have written this?

The Center for Science in the Public Interest warns that gravy is twenty times more deadly than arsenic!  Or so we assume.  They’re always saying funny stuff like that.

Here’s a picture of turkey and stuffing that looks way better than what’s on your table.  Just reporting the facts.  It’s what we hard-nosed journalists do.

Simple math and a recreation of an easily followed chain of events indicate that Jeff had more pie than anyone.  Thanks for nothing, Jeff!  What did you even bring, an almost empty box of sandwich bags?!  Again?!

In sports news, your team either won or they lost. But you had a couple of beers and some chips and got to sit on the couch for two hours. And isn’t that what’s really important?

You’re working off your turkey and gravy, good for you!  We’re working on (get it?  You work off, we work on?) bringing you the news!  Even though it’s a national holiday!  It’ll take more than a little national holiday to stop us from make light of… things… that are… happening… in the world.

Kim Kardashian’s holiday plans are keeping her so busy that she can’t get any of her work done… kidding!  She doesn’t need to work, she’s Kim Kardashian!

On the technology front, it’s now possible to write Newsdroppings several days in advance and have them automatically posted while you’re sitting at home with your tongue hanging out the side of your mouth in a tryptophan-induced semi-coma. Not that we would.