A: Clearly, Americans are concerned about financial issues, like low interest micro-loans for low-income writers and skyrocketing city bus fares. And the effects of the recession can be seen everywhere, from fewer sample trays being offered at grocery stores to people throwing away less usable stuff like old blankets and sofa pillows. The main concern is our national debt, which is $1.2 trillion, which we owe to China, which makes it almost 100 trillion, um, Chinese yen. In order to understand that number, try to imagine that one twinkie is worth a trillion yen. That’s one hundred twinkies! That’s more than any man could eat in a day, except for maybe that awesome little hot dog eating contest champion guy. However, the solution is simple. Just like I occasionally have to borrow money from my mom upstairs, we should borrow money from Canada. They love us, we make sure they have good TV shows to watch, and they’d be maybe just a little bit afraid of what we’d do if they said no. At least Canada could offer private micro-loans to private American citizens, because all this talk about a hundred twinkies in one day has me thinking I could do it. All I need is funding for the twinkies, and to hire that hot dog-eating guy to coach me.
Posted by Allyson - Labels: Ask a SBX Writer, Chris C.