Ailment Du Jour

The author, who describes herself as “the Jane Austen of middle-aged malaise,” keeps a journal chronicling her minor aches and pains…

Attention, people who are not Boomers.  There is a pill caddy in your future.  Probably much sooner than you think.

Here’s how it goes.  One day you wake up needing some Aleve for the old sports injury.   Then the doctor recommends a daily multi-vitamin.  Before long the cholesterol gets a little high and you’re popping fish oil.  Bone scan reveals Osteopenia, which is not the name of a Dominican baseball player, and you’ll be choking down calcium “horse pills.”  Pretty soon you can’t remember if you took the pills today, so you add the ginko biloba.  And then, before you know it, “Ding, dong. Zoloft calling.”

The calcium and fish oil are packaged in bottles the size of gas pumps, and you realize you need to have a system to manage your meds.  So you go to Walgreens and try to track down a little plastic see-through box with a compartment for each day of the week. (Right next to the Geritol, fyi.)

Then, once a week, for the rest of your life, you get to play pharmacist and put the pills in the compartments.  And every time, you think, “Didn’t I JUST fill this thing?”


Posted by Allyson - Labels: Ailment Du Jour, Molly W., Uncategorized
Comments

3 Responses to “ Ailment Du Jour ”

Deena Spradlin on November 30th, 2010 12:56 pm

So funny!!! I just emptied “Tues” this morning and noticed all seven days were gone. I thought to myself…I just filled this thing up and I am going to be slightly upset with myself if I forget to do my weekly “set-up” tonight! Wow, you know us too well. Maybe I need to add a memory pill! It’s two Aleve, OTC joint pill, Iron, Multi-vitamin, and a birth control pill…..which is the funniest part because although I am taking all this stuff for aching joints…I’m still young enough to get pregnant!!! Maybe that’s the root cause for the aching joints…hmmmmm? My children laugh when I pull my pill caddy out and tell me “it makes you look like an old woman!”. I just tell them “That’s okay….you did this to me.”

Deb on November 30th, 2010 3:31 pm

Just how old are you, now? I’d like to try to gauge my own slide down this slippery slope. Give me a minute to adjust my foot on this banana peel . . .

Deena Spradlin on December 1st, 2010 10:28 am

I’m 44. Went in for a Lasik evaluation this morning and the doctor said “you know what would be the only thing that would make you a better candidate for this surgery?”. I asked him what that would be, and he said “If you were 30″! Okay, who says stuff like that? But I did remember to refill the ole pill caddy last night….so we’re good for another week!

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