The Pentagon will have a smaller budget next year, and that will result in fewer people in the Army and Marines. So, unfortunately, Joe is gonna have to let Willie go.

A bus-sized asteroid came very close to hitting Earth. Luckily it had to make a few other stops and a transfer first.

Pat Sajak says he and Vanna used to do Wheel of Fortune kind’a drunk sometimes. Which explains that one show where he kept shouting, “I got yer vowel right here!”

Police in Paris have arrested former executives of company at the center of a breast implant scandal. No word if they shouted, “This is a bust!”

The fact that George and Brad are buddies is supposed to “humanize” them somehow, but instead it just makes them seem so, so much farther away…

Don’t worry everyone, the National Mustard Museum is not going to close. You can still “ketchup” on all the fun. But seriously don’t mention ketchup there. They really, really hate that.

Jay-Z and Beyonce selected Oprah as their daughter’s Godmother. When asked for comment, Oprah said: “YOU GET A BABY BLANKET! YOU GET A BABY BLANKET! AND YOU GET A BABY BLANKET!”

Adios, Shalom, Juan Epstein.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>