I explained marketing to my kids several years ago while sweeping the deck with a broom called the Eternity Deluxe Unbreakable Broom or something. On swipe #3 across the floor it broke in half. Since I’m only a mildly aggressive sweeper, this was disappointing, but not surprising. “You see,” I explained, “the people who want you to buy this broom know it’s cheap, they know it’s not going to last, they know that literally every other broom is better, so the name is the opposite of all that.”

Safe was titled the same way. Nobody is. Not the Chinese mafia, not the Russian mafia, not the crooked cops, not the Mayor of New York. When Jason Statham is upset, your broom is going to get broken, so to speak. You are the opposite of safe. Look at the poster! Believe me, he doesn’t need the gun, either.

And speaking of the Chinese mafia, they’re represented here by James Hong which, really? He’s fine, but according to IMDb, he was born in America. Do you know how many Chinese people there are? It’s got to be thousands. But pretty much every time you have an older Chinese role, it goes to Hong. Good for him and all, but come on! His young counterpart, Reggie Lee is going to take the mantle when Hong passes on. There have to be more guys who can play Chinese villains!

On the other hand, during previews I saw Bruce Willis three (3!) times, and he’s just Bruce Willis. He’s kind of a cool character now and I’m glad he’s working, but 3 movies at once? Is there some kind of actor shortage I’m not aware of? Whoever is in charge of the marketing of Willis, and Hong for that matter, they are doing an Eternity Deluxe Unbreakable job.