You’re going to be surprised to hear this, but I don’t know a lot about genetics. It has to do with a scientific paucity in my education. I know the word “paucity”, but I don’t know a ton about DNA and thermodynamics or whatever. But I believe the world’s leading leaders would be mystified by the casting that suggests Liam Neeson is the father of Brooklyn Decker. Really, seriously, really? Just based on noses, no chance. How good looking must that Mom have been? In what universe does this happen?
And while we’re at it, you know who plays a pair of brothers? The Friday Night Lights guy and a True Blood guy! That vampire is like 6’4″ according to IMDb, and in Hollywood that makes him a giant. A blond giant with a circle over his vowel. The bio for the FNL guy says he’s 6 feet tall which is movie magic, there’s no way. But if you ever saw True Blood and saw Eric towering over everybody, well, that 6’4″ is probably real.
So this genetic mystery really is based on the game, and if the game were one thousandth as blow uppy and explody as the movie, everyone would want to play it all time until there weren’t any of us left. It’s got all the stuff you go to movies in the summer to see, except for, and I say this just so you’ll be fully informed, Rihanna is wearing a uniform for like 95% of her scenes. And not a Halloween costume style uniform, either. A uniform uniform. She looks like someone who knows a lot about genetics.
Posted by Dan - Labels: Dan T., Tiny Little Movie Review
4 Responses to “ Tiny Little Movie Review: Battleship ”
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I know where you went to high school, and that town has an above-average population of working physicists, engaged in high-level thermodynamic high jinks. Which means that no self-respecting scientist wanted to teach, when they could be making better money jinksing. The high school used surplus teachers from the English Department to teach you a paucity of facts about noses under the guise of science. This is as plain as the nose on my face.
Dan on May 22nd, 2012 7:53 amsadly accurate. There was some mention of the lab on a show or something a couple of weeks ago and I told my kids I had grown up there and we used to cut through on the way to the mall. They thought I was making it up.
Deb on May 22nd, 2012 9:35 amEver since 9/11, the cutting is ever so much more difficult. You have to stop your car, talk to a guard, show them your I.D, and wish them pleasantries. It can be taxing.
sean on May 24th, 2012 8:23 pmi like the explodie and blowie uppie.