How did I get into this movie? I didn’t go early, I didn’t buy my ticket in advance, and I sat right in the middle, then up two rows, the best seat in the theater. Again, how?! Why wasn’t my second favorite theater packed? To the rafters! To the gills! To some other things I’m not sure what they mean?
It’s vampires, it’s hunting vampires, it’s Abraham (your favorite fricative here) Lincoln! And he’s hunting vampires! With an ax! With liquid silver poured on the blady part! Come on!
Perfect date movie. “Would you kill a vampire for me?” “I’d kill all the vampires for you.” “Take me now.”
You and your sorority sisters. “Where are the guys who can lead a nation and kill vampires for us?” “Here’s to that (drinks smuggled cranberry vodka from flask)!”
You and the guys on your 40+ slow-pitch team. “Can you imagine what a silver bat would do to a vampire?” “Here’s to that (drinks smuggled Jager from flask)!”
Maybe it was a marketing problem. Maybe somehow it wasn’t clear enough that it was a guy in a false nose and big hat and he’d take an ax and you know what? Kill. Vampires. With. It.
Sorry I had to use the played out single word sentence thing, but seriously. I’m not angry, I’m disappointed. And angry.
Posted by Dan - Labels: Dan T., Tiny Little Movie Review