Your computer might go kerflooey on Monday.  Hopefully you’ll have a 9-year old nearby who knows how to fix it.

#76?! Shark week is #76? It’s a fun list and all, but seventy six? That’s only about 75 numbers low.

In other shark news, an 800-pound shark has been caught and signed to a Weight Watchers campaign.

In other weight loss news, research shows it’s very important to eat at the right time of day, so our plan is to just not stop. That way we don’t miss it.

A monkey escaped from a hospital in what officials are calling, “a movie that hasn’t been written yet” situation.

Some firefighters are setting homes on fire to save lives, and if you’ll excuse us we have to rethink everything we thought we knew about fire prevention.

A police dog tracked a suspect for three hours over four miles. Everything about that sentence made us sweat.

In other dog news, a dog is being blamed for a car accident. Allegations of homework-eating, however, have yet to be brought forward.

You say, “mandate.” I say, “tax”. Let’s call the whole thing off.