Giant panda baby! Giant panda baby! And, in other news, giant panda baby!

San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro will deliver the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention. So there’s at least one guy we can be sure won’t be Romney’s VP pick.

They’re going to try to land a rover named Curiosity on Mars. Not to worry. They promise it won’t kill any cats.

The Olympics may cost too much.  Other things that “may” cost too much: having an honest talk with your Mom, an elliptical machine you’ll use twice and then ignore, and the dessert you said you’d split even though you know you’re going to eat the whole thing.

A granddaughter saved her grandfather who was drowning in the family’s pool.  So one of the grandkids may be getting a slightly nicer themed sweater this Christmas.

In other Christmas news, the drought is damaging young Christmas trees, so you may be decorating a steel pole come Christmas 2018. If the robot overlords allow it.

An Ohio woman was caught breaking into a county jail. She was charged with un-obstructing justice.

One fund makes investments purely on superstitions. We hear it was doing just fine until it opened its umbrella policy indoors.

What goes best with waffles in the morning? Botox, silly.